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Belly Flops

I was shopping at the Grocery Outlet (a key to my food budget success) and came across these Jelly Belly rejects. 

This is a ridiculous idea. And of course I bought some. They are all perfect in my eyes. 😂💎

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Name that Fabric

I am doing some secret sewing for the guild and I fell in love with one of the blocks. I have all the fabrics (or somethings very similar), save for the main charm square. 

So it’s time for another exciting game of NAME! THAT! FABRIC! (Canned applause) please tell me if you know.

I have put “plaid and flowers” into every search engine and every fabric shopping site and have come up empty. 

Help me, Internet! 

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Gittin’ Quilty!!

i am so in love with this month’s Quilty Box delivery, that I can totally overlook its late arrival. They are understandably busy and expanding.

They must have known some things about me because I like to think that all quilters and makers aren’t totally the same. (We probably are) like, how did they know about my love of cotton and steel and how I am making a mug rug for my quilt guild this month?? Well they knew. Because they included this melody miller charm pack and some teeny tiny batting, just right for my project.  

They even included robin’s egg blue (Tiffany blue?) cotton yarn and a size 5mm crochet hook. Crochet season IS fast approaching! Thanks for the reminder, Quilty Box! 

And finally they have the coordinating Egyptian cotton threads and the entire book! Entire book, folks, of bird appliqué projects. In case you ever forget to put a bird on it. (You won’t). 

So glad I hopped on the Quilty Box train cuz this thing is most likely full steam ahead at this point. 

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Mystery flip flop 

After the longest two week childcare vacation of my life, the kids went back to school on Monday. I cleaned the house top to bottom, the way I’d been dreaming about since August 3. The floors were spotless, thanks to my robot butler, and much of our massive toy collection “got disappeared,” or “sent to live on a farm,” or what have you. 

This made our morning discovery all the more disturbing. My daughter was up first. She is almost four. She had her bowl in front of her, waiting for someone to fill it with cereal, when she  calmly informed us that she found a shoe under the table. A shoe?! Hm. She seemed excited. Like she had won the game we must have set up for her last night. She had found the shoe. 

The shoe was a women’s size 9 Roxy flip flop, and it does not belong to anyone in our house, nor has anyone been here recently that would have left a shoe. It was covered in bite marks. 

The only plausible explanation we came up with was that someone had slipped in through the car door, and the cats, protecting their family and property, had eaten her. Among the three of them, they could eat all but a single flip flop. 

I took a photo, intending to share it on Instagram and ask friends for alternate theories. But then I got worried that people would try to rationalize it. “You must have forgotten a recent visit from someone with size 9 feet,” they would say. Or, “obviously your house wasn’t as clean and tidy as you thought.” No, you idiots. It was clean. Either time travel or man-eating cats are involved. Don’t be daft. 


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A Desperate Plea for More Austen

Just finished reading Persuasion. If you’ve ever read it, then you are probably feeling so jealous of me right now, in the bloom of first-time Persuasion completion. I have only recently decided to become crazy obsessed with Jane Austen, after I rewatched all the film adaptations of Pride & Prejudice (and everything else with Colin Firth in it, for good measure), and decided I had better legitimize my film binge by reading the novel.

Sense & Sensibility and Emma soon followed, and then I finally hit Persuasion. The best of the Big Four, in my (obviously correct) opinion. Why had I never even heard of this book before?! My guess, no good film adaptations. I’m of the Clueless generation; why has no one bothered to reboot this of all the novels? Possibly because it is already so relevant. A reboot might seem disrespectful of its undimmed brilliancy. But come on, so many Pride & Prejudices, can’t we just have one more Persuasion…(btw, I’d be fine with a new P&P film adaptation as well. I don’t think annual adaptations is an unreasonable request, Hollywood. Or, BBC. For your consideration).

To help Hollywood & the BBC along, I have some suggestions about Persuasion on the big screen (or slightly smaller screen, as TV has become). One, the book did NOT feel so dramatic. I mean, there was a lot of drama. and desperation. and feelings. and probably fog; this is England. But, the 2007 BBC Persuasion with Sally Hawkins was such a downer, and I think the spirit of the book is ultimately comedic. Like Emma, like Clueless, like Sense & Sensibility, like Bridget Jones’s Diary, for goodness sake. Jane Austen’s wit was lost. The only comedy relief in that version was Mary, played by Amanda Hale, who succeeded in becoming a caricature, which was intended. In the next adaptation, let’s have a George Clooney type playing Sir Walter, because that’s how I pictured him, comically vain and handsome. Or let’s have Hugh Grant in that role, since he’s already got the appropriate accent, and he is no stranger to Austen. We should, in that case, also have Colin Firth somewhere. Admiral Croft, maybe? Mr. Musgrove? It doesn’t matter. He’ll totally nail the role whatever it is.

Two, this is not a long book. I think a film adaptation could remain pretty faithful to the plot and sequence of the book without exceeding a normal runtime. I don’t know why the 2007 version had so many rewrites and mixups. Don’t mess with perfection. Why did it turn into Run, Lola, Run at the end? That wasn’t in the book. I just read it today. I know.

And finally, you really gotta cast Anne Elliot properly. If time travel is an option, let’s get mid-90s, Sabrina-era Julia Ormond in there. Honestly, she’s barely aged. Maybe current day Julia Ormond is my second choice. If both Julia and Julia refuse, let’s aim for mature 20’s, able to pull off vulnerable and invisible and underappreciated, and maybe steer clear of anyone in the Harry Potter movies or Downton Abbey. Who does that leave? Also, maybe we should go redhead. I pictured her as a redhead. But there are few protagonists that I DON’T picture as redheads. Oh I know: Lily Collins. Not a redhead, but she’ll do.

Also, BBC take note, Cillian Murphy as Mr. Elliot. Because he can play hot & evil so well. Also, put Cillian Murphy in more things. Full stop.

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The Geese Improve

Just some updates on my long-term work in progress, Moonrise Kingdom quilt. The palette of the week from is this one, featuring, you guessed it, more khaki and pastels. We will call this one “Sam, I love you.” 

   I knew this quilt would be full of muted tones, but HONESTLY! The hot pink color in the beige lunatics series was really working hard to preserve my sanity. Well I will have to choose a bolder backing fabric or start taking some artistic liberties maybe. 
For this palette, I chose another radiating log cabin block, a shooting sawtooth star (representing a compass rose for the scene depicted), and a Dutchman’s puzzle, which I think shows how my flying geese triangles have improved by leaps and bounds. 

  Also, as a sidenote, at the risk of sounding like a fabric snob, I don’t think I can ever use bargain fat quarters ever again. Top notch fabrics only from here on out for me. My fingertips deserve only the best. 

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Wes Anderson Palettes, the only color tool I need

Have you seen this?!

Some awesome (I gotta assume) person decided to boil down a variety of wes anderson movies/images/stills to their hues, and presents them as convenient little fat quarter shopping lists (basically), along with a little quote.
Thank you, friend.
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Bee Quilting Bee

I partook of a little quilting bee yesterday, and because I was traveling to someone else’s house, and didn’t feel like packing up The Notorious S.E.W., my sweet little machine (just your basic Brother XL2600i), I decided to simply cut, bringing a hex tool and some sweet fabric for a bee/honeycomb quilt I have been planning. 

How many people are required to make a quilting bee anyway? How many baes in a bee? Cuz there were just the two of us quilters, though we were accompanied by a gaggle of children. Is that a bee? A mini-bee, at the very least. 

Anyway, ever since seeing this awesome Bumble fabric from Tula Pink, I have been planning to give a hexagon quilt a try. Like many things in the quilting world, it looks so deceptively simple, but is in fact nearly impossible to get just right and requires hours of work. So fun, right?! (Quilters are a weird bunch). 

  The photos don’t do it justice, frankly. It had a brighter green than the pistachio of the photos. Like a delicious pistachio-lime sorbet, maybe. I was planning to mix it up with a variety of neutral shades and the blue honeycombs, but I’m thinking it might need a little more star power mixed in. Maybe bright orangey golden binding? A bold floral backing? Not sure yet. Feel free to guide me. I can never get enough guidance. 

    The bee baes.
  And how do I know that hexagons are so much harder than they look? Because I am a responsible quilter, who spent this afternoon piecing together some scrappy two inch hexies. 

    From what the Internet keeps telling me, seams should be pressed open, and the secret has something to do with leaving quarter inch spaces at the ends of every seam. But I obviously need more practice because these little beauties ended up puckery and full of gaps at the joints, like a …bursitis sufferer eating citrus? Yep. Nailed it. 

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Auspicious Beginnings

I started a blog mostly to join the quilting community. From what I understand of the internet, you have to be a blogger to commune with other quilters. I do not yet know the connection between piecing, basting, quilting, binding and blogging, but maybe I’m just a novice.

I was listening to David Sedaris on Audible today, and a relevant tidbit caught my ear.

“Given enough time, I guess anything can look good. All it has to do is survive.”

This is now my La Bizarra mantra. I am La Bizarra, the bizarre one. Surviving. And, inevitably, looking good. I guess.